25, and life

Published in the late afternoon of July 26, 2004

Now I understand. I used to wonder why bloggers write too much emotional details, exposing themselves to the world. Suddenly I know, it’s called life. At some point, you experience life so differently that the flux of emotions is so overwhelming it leaves you breathless. You feel like you have nothing and have nowhere to go, and only faith in a greater being more powerful than you survives your storm. You get back up, now knowing that you are just a part of someone’s masterplan. You always have a choice, but you bear every consequence of your decision. But confidently you stand, knowing you are provided with everything you’ll need to face all tribulations. Yes, you have what you need.

25 is such a turbulent time. Quarterlife crisis, as someone suggested. All around me, friends and family are suddenly facing life–changing crossroads that I (and they) never expected. Without warning, life isn’t just about me. The world is much bigger now, it’s no longer just you and me, it’s beyond us. Relationships fall apart, and new ones grow. Moments end, yet memories live on. Suddenly, we’re walking on unchartered paths with unsure confidence toughened by a past filled with success and tragedies. Without question, life really goes on. I know someday, we will all find the reason for every event in our lives.

***

Recent events in my life has showed me the beauty of friendship. Wonderful words of encouragement drowned me in a sea of comfort, with random friends sending messages through email, weblog comments and SMS. Knowing that others feel your pain is comforting, and having friends you can talk to, and listen to what you say (but not necessarily agree) helps a lot in releasing the flood of contradicting emotions that drown you. I couldn’t say it in any other way but simply, “thank you, I’ll treasure what you’ve done for me for the rest of my life.”

****

Mommy, happy birthday!

9 replies to “25, and life”

  1. 1 Ria 2AM of July 27, 2004

    I’ve always found a release in writing about my thoughts and feelings on my “online journal.” I think it is because I never had such an outlet when I was younger. When I see people comment and relate with/hate what I write, I see that I am not alone. It’s comforting to know that there are people who have been through similar experiences and that they have survived. Sometimes I think that it is strange that I can take comfort in the words of people who are strangers.

  2. 2 Anonymous 8AM of July 27, 2004

    v frankl is right- the size of human suffering is relative. every survival i see opens new paradigms and somehow convinces me that i can ride through the waves of the turbulent seas.

  3. 3 dead_poet 9AM of July 27, 2004

    oooops…didn’t mean to be in the guise of ms anonymous. forgot to put my name on the provided field :)

  4. 4 markku 1AM of July 28, 2004

    dead_poet, V. Frankl is indeed good reading right now. I must be too old to remember if I encountered his work back in college, or just too in–love then to recognize the world around me. ;) Ang buhay nga naman…

    Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

    A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the why for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any how.

    What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general, but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.

    I guess I’m not insane after all. Hah! :)

  5. 5 markku 2AM of July 28, 2004

    Ria, in my case, I never felt I needed an “outlet” for any specific success/tragedy in my life. I was happy, and whatever problem I encountered, I knew I could live through it just as long as I have the single most important thing in my life. I never needed to “release,” I was taking life as it happened, day by day, and my fears were never as huge as my confidence and optimism that the future will be bright and filled with happiness. Until it happened.

    It’s good to know others have gone through similar problems and survived. Now certainly, I will. Comfort from friends is good, but strangers giving their share of comforting words is the ultimate display of human kindness.

    Greatest realization—faith, along with your family and friends will always be with you when you feel you’ve lost everything.

  6. 6 dead_poet 3AM of July 28, 2004

    hahahaha :) you’re not insane markku but you’re becoming hyperactive!

    kidding aside, you found the right person to read. not quite sure if you found his book “man’s search for meaning” where he revealed his own experiences in the concentration camp in auschwitz- with prisoners in retreat to primitive life, the ache for loved ones and above all, survival without having anything but spiritual freedom….take in a dose of it and you’ll find yourself scaling the depth of your thoughts and emotions- in a delightful way, if i may say so.

  7. 7 Anonymous 2PM of August 13, 2004

    25 is such a turbulent time. –> Life is full of turbulence at any age. Whether its a quarter-life, half-life or 4/5-life crisis, the important thing is coming out of it a better person… Naks… seryoso ako a.

  8. 8 Trebs 8PM of August 16, 2004

    *points up* Ay sori ako pala yung nag-post sa taas.

  9. 9 markku 8PM of August 16, 2004

    Naks, deep tayo trebs ah. We sound like people who’ve outgrown NBA Live… Hehehe :)

Note: This website was designed to appear considerably well on a standards–compatible browser. If you see this message, your browser probably has poor support for CSS and XHTML. A browser upgrade is strongly recommended, it doesn’t cost anything at all. This site strongly recommends Mozilla Firefox. Visit the WebStandards.Org Browser Upgrade Campaign for more information.