In today’s ever so changing times, men should still:
- Open the door for a lady. I guess this is one of the rather important acts of chivalry, and should never be taken for granted. When with a lady friend, or when entering a door alongside another person, especially a lady, open the door for both of you.
- Offer a seat for a lady. In a meeting or just about any group where all of you are seated, and a lady comes along with no chair to sit on, offer yours. Then you can try to find one for yourself, or just go through the ordeal standing, or you could just lean on something, or maybe you could share. Hah! My brother though begs to differ when it comes to ladies who insist on taking the men’s coach in the MRT despite the fact that they have a coach reserved for the female population, which usually isn’t full. I’m not sure we agree, I don’t take the MRT.
- Cross the street with the lady on the safer side. You should always keep a lady safe at all cost, and sometimes just because they’re not too keen with the crossing the street roulette here in our country.
- Carry a lady’s bags and things. Unless your hands are already preoccupied with carrying heavier things, you should offer to carry a lady’s things, be it a bag or boxes of shoes. Despite the supposed “mockery” that comes along with carrying your girlfriend’s bag as she does her shopping routine, it’s the only right thing to do.
- Take a lady home safely. A man should take a woman home safely. You don’t even have to be romantically involved with the girl; this tip also applies to all lady friends. All the more if you have a car. But if you’re in a bind and the schedule wouldn’t permit, you should at least accompany her get a ride home.
I got thinking about this while recalling several occasions where I had dinner with a lady friend, or just any form of non–fastfood dining with ladies. For some time now, I learned (or at least try) to ask my lady companion what she’s having so I could place the order for both of us, instead of her having to talk directly to the waiter. I think it’s the courteous thing to do, regardless of gender equality or women empowerment debates which I’m not even sure applies to the situation I’m trying to disect now. So what do you think?
It wouldn’t be hard to notice that this is part of my Five on Friday series which I religiously miss almost every week, FoF on a Sunday Monday. I know I won’t be running out of ideas anytime soon; just too many things to worry about at the moment. I’ve got around a dozen photo sets to work on, a few crazy ideas, and a career I don’t know where I want to take. Or I know but I refuse to see. I don’t know, but I’ll keep on blogging, and do the things I currently, passionately care about.
In general, I avoid using the word should , but that is me. To be succinct: (i) a gentleman would kiss but never tell; (ii) a gentleman would prefer to walk than to run; (iii) a gentleman would treat everyone as equal regardless of age, creed, sex and station in life; (iv) a gentleman would not be quick to judge anyone; (v) a gentleman (or gentlewoman) would pass this world only once and will try to do a good deed whether by solving a problem, helping someone, or planting a rose or a pineapple. 🙂
BTW: for your book drive where will the books go? To the local library or baranggay library ?
Chivalry is not dead! 😛 In our community (YFC/SFC), our leaders always stress how brothers should treat the sisters and vice versa. It’s not about being pa-special or being a burden, or even being the weaker sex. It’s about men and women having different (and complimenting) roles in the society. The brothers, being the more physically-abled gender, has the role of protecting the sisters physically and being strong for them while the sisters, being more emotionally inclined, has the role of shedding the light over the true emotions and being beautiful. Yes, I just have to add the last part. 😛
Haha, anyway, what you said there is also true: the guy doesn’t have to be romantically involved with the girl for him to do the gentleman things to her. It’s just the right thing to do. And for us girls, when the guy is offering to do those gentlemanly things, then she should just let him do it because it is his role. It doesn’t mean that the girl is weak. 🙂
Last na! Being a gentleman to every girl the guy knows is a great practice on how to treat the guy’s future wife. =)
A true gentleman makes others feel they’re one too.
According to Sting, A gentleman will walk but never run.
🙂
@Markku – I think you’re so sweet. You’re a great friend to have. Very few guys think the same way now. Sana maging contagious ka haha.
@Tina – I know how it is to be in a community, sadly though there are some who take “brotherly affection” further and take advantage of the situation.
@Juned: I like your list, I’ve learned a thing or two from it. 😉
Right now, we haven’t finalized the benficiary schools for our book drive, but our plan is to set up a library or supplement what’s available in the school’s facility. So I guess schools are our primary beneficiaries.
@Tina: I like your brother–sister way of defining roles, though I’m not too keen on the last part. 😉 Hehehe.
Yung last paragraph mo, so pang–kasal material na pala ako? Hehehe.
@Rico: That’s profound dude! 🙂
@Mic: Hmm, I think that’s thought–provoking — meaning — hindi ko maintindihan. Hehehe. Joke. 😉
@Aileen: Sweet? Wow, kilig naman ako. It’s nice to have you for a friend, too! 🙂
Re: #4 — I beg to differ. I actually find it annoying when I see a guy carrying the woman’s purse, especially when she’s not carrying anything. For me, it’s a sign of weakness. I’d agree if she’s carrying way too much and the guy isn’t — that’s okay. But if he’s carrying everything and most of it is hers — wtf? A woman should carry her own stuff.
And as for #3 — haha, that drives me crazy! I’m so used to switching to the side where there are incoming cars for my friends; it’s natural for me already. So when I’m with a guy and he pulls this on me, I have to fight the urge to grab him and shove him to the other side. Same goes for #1. I’m usually the one who opens doors for friends, having doors opened for me is still weird. It’s like we’re trying to beat each other to the door. I’m still working on that. lol!
Basically my outlook regarding men and women is that if you can do it, why do you have to have the guy do it? I do agree with you on #5 though. It’s just not that safe for a girl to be out by herself at night. I mean the chances of a group of girls stalking a guy to rape him on his way home is less likely to happen. Snicker.
/end of long comment. Sorry for the long post, I just have way too much to say when it comes to men and women issues. har.
Hmm, good points Amanda.
When I said carrying a lady’s bag, it was along the line of thought wherein the lady has to do something else or is actually having a hard time carrying her bag. Like when shopping. Hehehe. But I wouldn’t insist anyway if a woman feels like carrying her own bag.
#3 is something I’ve learned to do since I was a kid, me being the eldest and all that. You shouldn’t do that for your man! Hahaha.
I pretty much apply #5 to all my friends, even men, but I’m more concerned about the ladies, especially the ones that aren’t too comfortable with public transport.
Markku, onga hirap intindihin ni Sting. May Ph.D. kasi sya, tayo wala. Hehe.
Para kasing laging high si Sting eh, hehehe. Shet, Ph.D.
I’m on board with everything except number 4. It’s a good thing that my girlfriend has never asked me to carry her handbag for her. I guess she’s an independent woman! haha
benj, I think I wasn’t too clear regarding #4. I think it should sound more like “helping” the lady carry her bag when needed, not necessarily just carry it all the time. Ideally. Hehehe.
Saka nandun naman yung keyword eh, “offer”… Hahaha. 😉